The Becoming
by ThatsMeTrying
Summary: After performing her first solo-surgery, and welcoming her patient's baby to the world, Meredith realizes there's nothing she wants more than to become the mother of Derek Shepherd's children.
1. Chapter 1 When Love Takes Over

This idea suddenly popped up in my head during the weekend and it ended up on Word somehow :)

I didn't beta-read it too closely so there might be some grammar flaws. Anyway, I hope you like it and please tell me what you think!

* * *

"Doctor Shepherd" Addison Montgomery stepped in front of her, immediately dragging her attention from patient forms to the sublime redhead who was occupying the space in front of her.

"Doctor Montgomery" Meredith smiled, trying to sound welcoming as her legs started to trip nervously in front of the attending. "Can I help you with something?"

She cleared her throat and clutched her fingers closely around the chart she was holding. "Actually, you can" Her straight expression changed into a small, wry smile. Meredith's eyes grew large, waiting for her to take lead of the conversation. The silence followed for another minute that seemed like a lifetime for Meredith, having to spend time talking to her husband's gorgeous ex-wife.

"I was wondering…" Addison slowly gave up the chart and showed it on the desk I front of her, "If you wanted a surgery. A C-section at noon"

"Oh" Meredith breathed, relief washing through her body. Every time she spotted Addison walk through the halls of Seattle Grace, and not to mention, every time she approached her, her body tensed. There was no reason for it to happen because Derek loved her and Addison had changed from being Satan to becoming quite a bearable person to be around, and they were perfectly capable of driving a friendly conversation together and…It was just some days. Like today. Meredith felt horrible, it was one of those days when her conditioner didn't do its job and her makeup was applied in a rush and she was fed up on aspirin because of a heavy nausea hanging over her, and that's when Addison Montgomery had to represent perfection.

She finally managed to pull together and flipped the chart open. "You want me to assist on a C-section? Thank you, Doctor Montgomery" She sent her a swift, appreciatively smile.

"Actually…" Addison changed her weight on her heels, "I want you to perform the C-section"

Meredith quickly faced her. "What? You want me to do a surgery by myself?"

"By yourself" She assured her, "I know it comes on a short notice, the patient got admitted last night because of pre-term labor but she's not capable to give birth the natural way. And you've been assisting me a lot lately, you've been gaining lot of valuable skills and knowledge in my field. I'm impressed. So I'm offering you a solo surgery"

"But…I'm not prepared… and what if I do it all wrong, what if I kill them both? Or cut into the baby? I've heard some surgeons accidentally harm the baby with the scalpel and it's more common that we think and I don't want to cut a baby…" Meredith rambled along

Addison laughed softly. "You won't kill them. You won't cut in the baby because you're trained by me and I don't do mistakes" Her self-assured smile made Meredith again feel like a flaw.

"I will be there and assist you, if anything goes wrong I'm right there. But you're the surgeon on this case, and you're responsible for bringing a healthy baby to the world."

She nodded slowly.

"Good" Addison swiftly smiled and turned her shaped figure for the end of the hospital hall, "I'll see you in surgery"

* * *

"Can you believe it?" Cristina moved in between George and Izzie, taking a seat on the bench in the OR gallery. "Montgomery asked Mer to perform a c-section and she said yes?" She handed George a water bottle and a bag with chips.

"I would be grateful. She's bringing a baby to the world. A new baby. A world's new citizen. It's amazing" Izzie's hand sneaked into Cristina's chips bag, catching some snack.

"It's an insult" She snapped her food away, "We're third year residents. I've been on Hahn's service for a week. Babies and hormonal mothers are for those who have no self-respect.

"You know" George added, "We're here on the attending's permission, including Doctor Montgomery. If she has reasons to not like you, she could easily throw you out of the program. And there will be no hearts left for Cristina Yang" He hummed

She ignored his last statement, "Oh, you want to become a vagina boy?"

"Dude, vagina boy?" Alex sarcastic voice was heard from behind and the laughter spread among the crowd. George sank lower in his seat.

"Twenty she pulls the whole thing off" Izzie closed the topic to start betting over Meredith's surgery.

"Forty she cuts into the baby" A random resident beside Alex joined in to the competition.

"Fifty the mother bleeds out" Cristina replied, running her fingers through her hair, attempting to put it into a French braid.

"Yang, I take that" Alex voice was again heard.

The loud voices immediately silenced the second Derek made his presence clear and walked into the gallery, bringing coffee and a stack of charts. "You're betting money over my wife's surgery?" He turned to Cristina with a raised eyebrow.

"Uhm…Yeah?" She hesitated, seeing her chance to sneak into a hardcore procedure. "Can I scrub in on one of your surgeries? Hahn won't let me. She's a wicked witch. She's being all mean because of her Callie problems and she punish me for it. You know what?" Cristina turned in her seat, "She's unprofessional. She's mean and unprofessional. She should be grateful to teach residents like me." Izzie and Alex shrugged. Derek watched her closely. "I cleared my schedule. Unless there's an incoming trauma later I don't have any more surgeries today"

Cristina narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

Derek repositioned himself as he took a sip of his coffee, exhaling out. "Because I'm going to watch my wife bringing a baby to the world for the first time on her own. It's the miracle of life" He smiled confidentially.

"You make me sick" Cristina grumbled in her seat. "It's a c-section. It doesn't deserve to be referred to as a "surgical procedure""

"Here she is" Izzie's voice lead the crowd's attention to Meredith, who was walking into the OR, dressed in a surgical gown, mask and cap. She held out her hands for the nurse to slip her glows on before approaching Addison, who stood beside the patient to comfort her. While talking to the patient, she took the time to look up at the familiar faces that met her gaze behind the glassed wall. Izzie's wide smile was agglutinated to her face while she raised hands to cheer at her. George put up a sympathetic smile and Alex wriggled his eyebrows playfully. Cristina's expression spoke for itself. Shocked and disbelieved, she motioned for her to escape the room and leave hormones and babies behind while she was to continue climbing further up the career mountain. Meredith shook her head in amusement and she couldn't help curling her lips into a wide smile behind her surgical mask. Those were her friends. Her closest friends. And then, beside Cristina, was Derek. He was here, supporting her. Her body felt warm and her skin prickled sweetly. Her eyes met his and he stared in amazement back at her. He pulled a black velvet box out of his lab coat pocket for her to see, and she immediately recognized it. It wasn't any kind of box, it was exactly the one that held her engagement ring and wedding band. Derek kept it safely for her while she would cut into skin and reach body parts, covered in blood.

"Doctor Shepherd?" Her focus left her dear ones and switched to the Addison in her front. Her eyes narrowed and she could see she was smiling, underneath the mask. "Are you ready?"

Meredith nodded determinedly. "I'm ready" She stepped closer to the patient. "What about you, Megan?"

"I'm ready" The pregnant mother inhaled a deep and nervous breath. "I'm so excited to see my baby. I'm going to officially become a mom today"

"Yes" Meredith smiled, "In about fifteen minutes you will officially become a mom. Let's get started, shall we?"

"Yeah, bring it on" Megan let out a shaky laugh.

The scalpel was neatly placed into Meredith's palm and she clutched her fingers around the steel handle. "You might feel some pressure and some tearing when I open up your uterus but you won't feel any pain. I want you to try and relax so I can get the baby out as soon as possible so your anaesthesia doesn't get the time to affect her. Okay?"

"Okay"

Meredith placed the scalpel over the woman's lower stomach and let it penetrate her skin. Blood tripled out from the newly made scission as she placed the scalpel back on the table beside her.

"Retractor, please" Meredith ordered the staff.

"Perfect scission" She heard Addison compliment her from where she stood behind, monitoring closely.

"Thank you, Doctor Montgomery" She couldn't help but feel bits of pride bubbling up inside her veins. She reached for the scalpel again and brought it closer to the woman's uterus.

"Remember to use a more careful pressure when you reach the uterus" Addison reminded her, "And make the scission horizontal"

She nodded as she again started to cut, lowering her hand a bit for the best angle. She could hear the small noise the scalpel made as it parted the skin and she was filled with the uprising effect surgeries like this had on her as she put the scalpel aside. "I can…I can…Doctor Montgomery, I can see the baby…" She stuttered, stricken with shock and amazement.

Addison's laugh was gently behind her. "You didn't count on that, Doctor Shepherd?"

"Yes…Yes, I did, but it's so unreal, it's…I see the baby…And the baby is perfect…"

Megan looked up at her in awe and expectation and Meredith was a wide reassuring smile back. She closed her hands around the tiny human and the buzz of the scalpel was replaced with cries from a newborn baby.

"She's got well-functional lungs" Addison stated with a smirk as Meredith cut the cord with a scissor, separating mother and child before she laid the tiny baby girl on Megan's chest, letting them bond again.

"Oh my god, that's my baby. She's beautiful!" Megan eyes began to flush with happy tears. Meredith's gaze got stuck at the sight of the happy, newly twined family until Addison cleared her throat and brought her back to work. "Doctor Shepherd, are you ready to close up?"

She nodded and gripped for the suture needle. Addison laid a light hand on her shoulder as she passed. "You did great" She lowered her voice, only for Meredith to hear before pausing next to the patient. "Megan, before we take her to the nursery, the pediatrician needs to check that she's as healthy as can be. Meanwhile, Doctor Shepherd will stitch up the wound and take you to recovery, and you'll see your daughter again there, okay?"

"Okay" She nodded and dried her wet cheeks with her palm. "Thank you, Meredith." She spoke, looking at Meredith, her eyes filled with gratitude.

* * *

Meredith grabbed a paper towel and dried away the last drops of water from her hands. She curled it together and tossed it into the bin underneath the sink. On her way out of the scrub room she tugged on the back of her scrub cap, loosening the ties.

Passing the hallways, she noticed an escort of doctor's, crowding down the stairs, one by one, from the OR gallery. "Hi, Mer!" Her eyes wandered to the top of the staircase to see Izzie descenting down. She hurried to catch up with her and threw an arm around her shoulders. "Congrats! You pulled it through! The baby was so cute!" She remarked, overenthusiastically.

"I know! It was…great! I never thought I would get this high while delivering a baby, but…I did!" She exclaimed, close to match Izzie's joy.

"You did great, Mer" She pulled out her arms and wrapped her into a tight hug. Two years ago, during her first year residency, those kind of acts were still unfamiliar to Meredith, but when she realized her one-night stand at Joe's was about to become the love of her life and they let sparky and cheery Isobel Stevens plan their wedding, and Derek's overdimensioned family took her by surprise and caught her in their wide embrace she realized it could have been worse. She curled her arms around Izzie's shape and let them rest on her back. Hugging was getting a daily routine to her. Even Cristina, who used to be kept on an arm lengths distance, had been able to not freak out during shared physical contact with her best friend. Her mother would turn around in her grave. Meredith was becoming soft. As she liked it.

"You were a rockstar inside that OR" Izzie said as she took off to the destination her beeping paper would lead her to. Meredith gave her one last smile, turning towards the OR schedule, awe in her eyes. Her surgery wasn't removed yet and, unable to hide it, she showed off a satisfied grin when she spotted her name written with a black marker. _SURGEON: M. SHEPHERD_

"Looks like someone knows how to praise herself" A familiar voice made her turn around and into the arms of her husband. "It's you!"

"It's me" He smiled sheepishly, watching her closely. "You did great in the OR today, Doctor Shepherd"

"Thank you" Her voice softened as she looked into his piercing blue eyes. "You were there. I'm glad you were there"

He raised his shoulders casually, but pride for her was openly beaming across his face. "It was my wife's first solo surgery. It's a special moment and that's why I want to invite my gorgeous, insanely hot wife out on dinner tonight. On the Space Needle" He specified.

Meredith frowned her brows together. "Space Needle? But that's for rich and snobby people…"

"We are rich people. Rich and kind people. And I booked a table"

"Why did you book a table at the Space Needle? We're not Space Needle people"

"Meredith…" His arms circled around her waist. "You were a surgeon today. You did the surgery all by yourself. You deserve some special treatment. And I hear the lobster is wonderful up there"

"You're lying" Meredith stated after a minute. "You have some other intentions in mind, don't you?"

Derek shook his head, pretending to be purely innocent and unknowable.

"I'm your wife, Derek. I have special wife senses and I know you're lying right now" She rocked back and forth on the heels of her Converse shoes, triumphant.

"Fine" He sighed, ashamed to be busted by his wife like that. It's been a while since you last wore that black, low cut black dress. It just…hangs there…You should wear it tonight…" His naughty grin glinted across his face.

"I see" Meredith nodded understandingly. "You want to see me in that dress and you're going to stare at my boobs all during dinner and as soon as we're back home, you're finding the first excuse to get it off me"

"Right" Derek said death seriously. "Maybe I won't even wait till we get home. The Space Needle has a lot of restrooms…I'm sure they could be quite useful…"

"Derek!" Meredith whispered angrily as a pair of gossipy nurses were passing them. "Forget it. We're already been through 'girl and guy in bar'-sex, 'pre-Addison'-sex, 'Hospital prom' sex- 'Break-up'-sex, 'S&M'-sex, 'House of candles'-sex-, 'Engagement-sex', 'Post-it-wedding'-sex, 'Real-wedding'-sex, hundred times of 'on-call room'-sex, 'every-single-room-in-the-house'-sex, 'A-quicke-at-Cristina's-and-she-still-doesn't-know-we-wet-out-her-couch'-sex, 'Thanksgiving-at-you-mother's-sex. There's hardly any place that's not listed in my head. We're not having Space-Needle'-sex too" Meredith stated strictly.

"Space-Needle'-sex…" Derek tasted the words out loud…"I like it…"

"No!" Meredith slapped his arm. "Forget it"

"But you're accepting my dinner invitation, right?" Derek watched her timidly.

"I'm accepting dinner. Without perks"

"We'll see about that…" He muttered sensually under his breath. "What are you doing now? We could sneak into an on-call room or my office for some fun…We could name it 'Meredith's-first-solo-surgery'-sex…"

"In your dreams, naughty boy. I'm going to check on my baby. She's in the nursery" Meredith eased out of his arms and twirled around in the opposite direction. Derek followed and grabbed her arm. "Technically it's not your baby, Mer. It's your patient's baby."

"I delivered that baby"

"And that makes you the baby's doctor."

"I want a baby, too" She began to pout playfully and lean into Derek's chest to seek comfort.

He wrapped his arms closely around her small frame and buried her nose into her hair as a wide smile came visible. "We'll make a baby. We'll make hundreds of them"

"Forget it. Two is more than enough"

"Five"

"Seriously, Derek? Are you planning to ruin my body?"

He chuckled into her hair. "I want a big family. Me and my sisters makes a bunch of five. I always wanted a brother, but growing up with four girls was good. I guess it have kind of made me the person I am today. Our family was close. When we become a family someday, I want our kids to get the same childhood as I got"

Meredith's fond expression faded dramatically at the sound of the word 'childhood'. "Yeah…" She mumbled, her voice deflating. All the time during her adulthood she had tried to get rid of old, bitter memories that were halfway vanished away from her mind, but it always stung hearing those words when they were brought up again.

"Meredith…" Derek looked deeply into her eyes. Sometimes she believed he could just as well get glimpses of her soul. He parted strands of her loose hair away from her face, and placed each of his hands on her cheeks. "I'm sorry" He lowered his voice, "I know this is still hard for you, but you will never redo your mother's mistakes. The day we become parents, I know you will be a great mother. You're not your mother and you never was"

"I know that" She said, almost inaudible.

Derek lifted his hand to let it caress her cheek tenderly. "Are you okay?"

Meredith persuasively nodded. "I'm okay" She balanced herself impatiently around him. "I have to go. I have…work"

"Okay" He silently nodded, not wanting to let go of her. "We're still having dinner?"

"We're still having dinner" She reassured him with a smile. "But we'll see about that sexy dress" Meredith turned on her heel, throwing him a last mocking glare as she took off.

* * *

Derek laid in bed, half naked, the bedcovers draped around his waist, showing off his bare and masculine chest. He tried to focus on the notes written in the medical journals in front of him, but he couldn't help stealing glares at his wife, sexy and newly showered, only wrapped into a soft, flannel towel. The papers ended up tossed to the floor the minute his total attention was drawn to her, walking into their bedroom and scooping her figure into the bed beside him. "Thank you for spoiling me tonight" She snaked into his arms, pearls of wet drops on her body melting onto his warm skin. He laid his hand on her shoulder, lightly massaging it while sharing his kisses down her neck. "I like spoiling you. I should spoil you more often. But now…" He couldn't hold back his grin, "I want some gratitude from you…And I know exactly how to get it…"

She squirmed alluringly in his arms as his fingers tugged on the tiny towel, loosening it from her body, exposing soft, flawless parts of skin. He turned her over grabbed her around her slim waist while smothering her stomach with deep kisses from him. Meredith laid her head back, breathing rapidly. A moan escaped her lips as his mouth closed the shape of her breast. "Derek…" She whispered, "I want you now but I just need to tell you something…"

He lifted his head and attention to her in wait for her to speak. "Okay. I'm listening" He supported his weight on his elbows on each side of her.

"What if we do something different?" She suggested. "I want the sex to be different"

"Different?" He raised an eyebrow, "How can we make it different? We're already having all kinds of sex…I don't…OH!" He suddenly interrupted himself as a new thought dawned in his mind, "Seriously, Mer? You don't think we're a bit too old and settled for that?"

"Too old and settled?" She shut up her body from the slack position on the bed, sitting up, slight alarmed. "Derek, we've been talking about a lot lately!"

"What?!" Confusion was written all across his face, "What are you talking about? We never talked about it before! Why would you need someone other than me?"

"But…" Meredith bored her teeth into her lower lip so it hurt, "You told me you wanted five…"

"Meredith, I only want you. You're handful enough as it is!"

She turned away from him, covering her shocked mouth with her hand, trying to make sense of him. She felt Derek's warm palm stroking upon her skin. "Why would you tell me if you don't want kids with me? All the time I thought…Even today you said..."

"Wait!" He held up his hand, trying to gain focus. "Why do you say that? You know I want kids with you!"

"Then why did you turn me down?"

Derek widened his eyes, realizing what she had not been talking about. "I thought you wanted…" He gulped, "A threesome…"

She clashed her hand on his. "Derek!" Disbelief spread across her face, "Could you, for one second, stop thinking about sex! Of course I don't want a threesome! I want us to make a baby! I wanted us to try for a baby tonight!"

Derek only sat there, lips parting and eyes wide. Meredith quickly rolled away, slipping the cover over her body. "Crap" She mumbled, "Just forget I said it…

"Meredith" He lent over her, embracing her from behind. "Of course I want a baby with you. I want five. The next thing on my list of our life together is to knock you up" His glorifying smile met her gaze as she turned to look at him. "You do?"

"Yes. But don't you think this is happening a little too soon? You performed a c-section today, and it was successful. You delivered a baby today. But having a baby is not like surgery. Don't you think you're a bit affected? Maybe we should give it some time? I'm more than ready to have a baby with you, but I want you to be, too"

"I know having a baby is not like surgery at all" She inhaled a deep breath. "But I want this , Derek. I'm a doctor. A surgeon. In three years I will be an attending. I have a great career, a safe job and so do you. And I love you. I love you more than anything. You're the only person I want to create a life with. We're able to give a child everything. That won't change in two or three more years. I'm scared to not become a good mother, but I want to know how to become one. And I have you by my side. I want a tiny little people I can love as much as a love you. I'm ready Derek. That surgery didn't make me ready. It made me realize I am"

"You're ready" He finally replied, looking at her in awe and admiration

"I'm ready" She stated. "And it might not work on the first try, but we could try…Let's call it 'Lets-try-to-make-a-baby'-sex" A grin appeared on her lips.

Derek placed her comfortably on the bed and rolled on top of her, muttering between soft kisses, "Let's try to make a baby"


	2. Chapter 2 That's What You Get

**Thank you so much for your sweet comments on the first chapter! They brought lots of smiles on my face! I thought about continuing this and that idea was put to life when I spent last week at the hospital with a fractured skull and a doctor who was anything but McDreamy, in contrast he was a middle-aged Irish who chose to call me 'Sussy'. Not so flattering. Anyways, since Derek Shepherd didn't come to me I decided to let him come to Meredith through this story. During my sick leave I had plenty of time to write so I made this. If you like it, I'll be positive with the thought of writing more. Maybe not a hundred chapters more, but at least a few. If you want more, of course! There are some adult themes at the end, but I haven't written unsubtle sex-scenes. **

**Tell me what you think, I'm waiting to hear from you!**

"Hmm…" Meredith mumbled to herself from where she stood in front of her bedroom mirror, undressed to only her panties. She turned sideways, letting her eyes trail over the length of her body, trying desperately to find a sign, or a symptom…to something physical that could easily resemble an early stage pregnancy. She pressed her palm against her flat stomach in hope to feel a slightest move, or, a tiny, almost invisible bump…

As expected and much to her own dismay, she didn't feel anything except from the growling, complaining sound of her stomach, reminding her that she hadn't ingested any kind of food since last night's dinner.

"What are you doing?" Derek's stressed out voice caught her off the today's daydreaming. He passed her in a rush to gather his medical journals that were stacked in place on his nightstand. He pressed them down in his already stuffed full briefcase, tossing it over his shoulder. "Mer, what are you doing? We're gonna be late. I have a surgery in an hour"

She nodded, reluctantly drifting away from the mirror, parting her closet doors in order to seek out an adequate outfit. "It's just…" She paused, clutching the dark wood doors in her fists. "We tried for a baby last night…"

"We tried for a baby last night" Derek agreed, smiling softly.

"And I feel…" Meredith trailed on, "I know it sounds weird because it doesn't show and it's too early, but I feel…sort of pregnant…"

"It is too early" Derek stated seriously, "You're not pregnant yet"

"I could be" She sharpened back, "You don't know that"

"It takes about a week from the conception to the fertilization. You should know that. Did you sleep your way through med school, or what? He hummed, immediately regretting his urge to be funny, when the words came out of his mouth it sounded more like an insult than an attempt to be sarcastic. He saw Meredith cringe on her spot, turning her back against him, camouflaging her shocked expression from his unwelcoming response.

"Meredith…" He stepped towards her, closing his body around hers, his lips drifting gently on her cheek. "I didn't mean it like that…I'm sorry…"

"I know" She arched her head up in a short nod, "But I feel different. Pregnancy like" She suggested with a small grin.

"Really?" Derek raised an eyebrow at her, "And how does 'pregnancy like' feels?" He tightened his grip around her and she leaned back into his warm embrace. "I don't know…" She said thoughtfully, "Maybe my boobs are bigger" She stifled a laugh as Derek's eyes immediately wandered downwards her chest. "They look perfectly fine to me…"

"Derek!" She squealed as he grabbed her bra clad breasts, kneading the round forms in his hands. "They're absolutely perfect for what I like, although I wouldn't mind if they suddenly got bigger…"

"Of course you wouldn't" Meredith grumbled playfully, well-familiar with her husband's constant need for a daily dose of 'naked, sexy wife'.

"Back to the point" She continued, "Not only does my boobs feel bigger, it's like something's happening inside my body. Some sort of reaction, or something like it…"

Derek gave her shoulder a light squeeze. "I'm sure that's pretty common, you know after all of my…" His adams apple contracted as he swallowed, "My…Uhm…My…"

Meredith couldn't help hiding her wide grin as his voice stammered on nervously. "You mean your swimmers are still invading my vagina?"

He nodded vacantly as her thrilled smirk infested his sight. "Aww, Derek, you're a doctor. Why so embarrassed?"

"I'm not embarrassed" He quickly disagreed, "I am perfectly capable to pronounce words like that. It's not abnormal to feel a bit different, you know, after my…" He paused again, "Sperm…is…inside you there certainly is something happening…Stop looking at me like that!" He whined as Meredith was mocking him brutally. Her hands cling around his waist as she gave him a sweet smile. "You know, you've been way too much around brains. You're going all "brainy""

"Brainy?" He questioned, disbelieved, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"You're too brain obsessed" Meredith explained, "You cure and heal and fix biology's crown jewel. It's like the rest of the body doesn't matter to you. You neglect it"

"When have I ever neglected your body? Because as far as I can remember, you didn't exactly sound unhappy last night…" It was Derek's turn to lighten up his face with a big, broad grin. Meredith slapped his arm playfully. "I'm not talking about me here, Derek! I'm talking about the patients! You only pay attention to the neurosurgical cases"

Derek cleared his throat awkwardly, "Meredith…I'm a neurosurgeon. It's my job to do "brainy things"

"Yeah, I know that. But you should keep your eyes open for other specialties too. I'm not saying you should switch specialty, of course not, but you should respect and admire doctors who chose to work with other parts than the brain"

"I respect all my fellow co-workers! What do you want me to do? Do facelifts and superficial, unnecessary, cosmetic surgeries? Crack people's broken bones back in place? Deliver babies? Dig through people's open chests and hearts?"

"No" Meredith shook her head firmly, "I love your brainy side and I love all the surgeries you perform… But it looks like you're in need for some 'anatomy of the female' lessons…"

Derek stifled a laugh before his amused expression suddenly faded as he realized she was death serious. "That's mean!" He protested, "I don't need lessons!"

"Derek…You're too shy to utter the word 'vagina' in front of your wife" Meredith pointed out, "You need some lessons"

"You didn't give me the chance to say it. Stop being so conclusive! I'm a doctor, I can say everything. Vagina. See that? I said it" He smiled triumphantly, "I don't need female anatomy lessons. I know all there is to know. And you give me private lessons every night…" His sexy, teasing grin was glinting at her.

Hesitating a moment, Meredith made her way into her husband's comforting arms before she planted a deep, passionate kiss on his mouth. "You're right" She agreed with a smile, "I give you lessons. And just you wait for tonight…"

* * *

"Morning" Mark greeted as he came up beside him at the nurse's station, reaching for his chart.

Derek groaned in reply. "I have a long day in front of me" He bent his head backwards as a small container of eye drops were brought up to his face, the water trickling onto his dry, bloodshot eyes.

"Why?" Mark shot him a glare, "big Grey kept you up all night? As always?"

"You can say so. We did it four times. First in bed, then in the shower, and again in bed before we went over the kitchen counter. She wanted a fourth time, but I had to turn her down. I was just…I was so exhausted I couldn't move"

Mark passed him a warning look. "You should appreciate your wife. She's a wildcat. Embrace it. You can't just back out" He reflected, "When I think about it, she should be married to me. We wouldn't have time for anything else than sex"

"The words 'you', 'my wife' and 'sex' doesn't get along in one sentence" He stated, death-seriously. "How come I see you hovering at the nurse's station and not in a sweaty on-call room with your fiancée?" Derek humored, hinting to last week's event when he was working late night shifts, planning to get some much needed sleep when he burst through an unlocked on-call room door, involuntarily taking share in Mark's naughty actions, accompanied with no other than Lexie Grey.

Showing off a glimpse of red blushing, Mark slipped his pen back in his lab coat pocket. "She's studying for the test. She's buried in books all the time. There's no time for horizontal salsa" He sighed in frustration, "How am I gonna survive another two droughty weeks?"

"You might not have to" Derek looked up from his charting. "Show her that you care about her. That you love her. Offer her to go through her notes. Help her study. Start off with innocent kissing. Buy her flowers and take away. Compliment her. Tell her how intelligent she is, she will pull it through without problems, she's the best resident you've ever worked with, tell her how beautiful she is while you slowly bring the kissing to a higher level. Massage her shoulders. Rub her back. Feel her up.

Mark nodded, carefully listening to Derek's much qualified advice. "You've tried this out, haven't you"?

"Oh, yes" He muttered, unable to hide his self-confident grin. "And it works every time"

"Good to hear" He flipped his medical files close. "Just remember to stay persistent during those acts or your wife might get bored. Four times in one night. Wow" Mark breathed, impressed and disbelieved. "She overruns me. Almost"

Derek snorted. "She's not bored. Not at all. We tried for a baby last night" He smiled as the words spilled out of his mouth. It wasn't the smartest move to tell Mark Sloan when Meredith obviously wanted to keep it a secret until they were more well -versed into the baby making, but he couldn't help feeling a beaming pride when the talk about their future kids were brought up.

Mark's eyes dropped wide open. "You knocked big Grey up? She's going fat?"

"Pregnant, Mark" Derek scolded" There's a remarkable difference. And I haven't knocked her up. Not officially. We won't know yet. Maybe"

"But you did it…Without protection" He counted, "Have some faith in your swimmers. There's a large risk she actually is and you don't seem too thrilled about it…"

"Of course I am! Of course I'm happy, this is all I ever want, starting a family with Meredith. And I'm grateful she wants it too, it's just…" Derek bored a hand through his thick curls, "Addison offered her a solo surgery yesterday. A cesarian. Everything went smoothly, the baby is healthy, the mother is healthy, Meredith is an incredible surgeon…" He paused, "I'm afraid Meredith is too attached to it. And mix it with her private life. I don't want to take advantage of that. I want her to be hundred percent into it"

"Why would she do that?" Mark questioned with a raised eyebrow, "If she says she's ready, she most surely is. Is she happy?"

"Like you wouldn't know" Derek informed, "She's over-the-top happy. She might be exaggerating a bit, I mean this morning she stood in front of the mirror, inspecting her body for any possible changes. And we tried for the first time last night. Last night, Mark. It's been about eight hours"

Mark responded with a quick shrug as he fumbled into his labcoat pockets for his cell. "You turned her into a baby-sick, hormonal chick. Deal with it"

"Who is a baby-sick- hormonal chick?" A familiar voice came into hear, and Lexie walked up past them, a load of medical files ending up in front of Derek with a hard force from her. "That Melody girl" She offered Derek a dreadful look, "She's on my nerves. I've tried everything to talk her into the surgery, but she refuses. She's packing, ready to leave the hospital"

"She can't leave" Derek nagged, "She needs the surgery"

"That's what I've been trying to tell her. I've been in there for over an hour, arguing over whether she should have the surgery or not, spoonfeeding the information to her. She's 25, not 5.I give up"

"Little Grey!" Derek firmly called for her, pushing the charts back into her hands, "She needs the surgery and it's your job to make sure she doesn't move outside this hospital. I don't care what you have to do, tie her to the bed, let the morphine knock her out, declare her mentally precarious, act like you're her best friend. I don't care as long as you keep her in that room. My job is to cut, not to cuddle talk"

"Seriously? Seriously?" Lexie's voice raised several levels, "I'm a surgeon! And the test that's decisive to my career and draws the line for whether I will keep my job or not, is in three weeks. You can't expect me to spend more time with tumorbit…" She stumbled in her words, "I…I mean…Melody Lewis…"

"Your patient has a petname? Tumor bitch?" Mark cracked out a laugh, curling an arm around Lexie's shoulders. "She's unbearable. The hospital staff hates her" She explained precisely.

"Doctor Grey!" Derek professionally scolded, "In my department we don't refer to patients as 'tumor bitch'. If I hear you term our patient coarsely again, you're off the case, which means you don't need to pass the exam because you're practically not a surgeon according to your lack of neurosurgical proficiency"

"What?" Lexie breathed, stricken with shock, "I've been working on your cases for a month! I'm more qualified than most residents!"

"And she has a photographic memory" Mark added.

"I'll give you my best references…" Derek promised, "As soon as you convince Melody to have the surgery"

Lexie's voice turmoiled in the air, "Why me? Why me?" She prompted, "I'm your sister! Your sister, Derek! I'm a brilliant surgeon and you throw me back into the wasps nest?!

"That's true" He nodded, "But inside this hospital you're also my intern. My subordinate. Which means, I'm allowed to give you orders"

"Just not in bed…" Mark hummed, "That's where I take over…" Derek and Lexie sent him a dreadful look, groaning in unison at his attempt to allure her.

"What?" He shrugged, "I'm being a boyfriend. A fiancé, even. Derek knows the drill, he's been engaged. And now he's married and they're acting like rabbits. Every day" He grinned, "Last night they tried for a baby" He explained as Lexie's gape grew wide.

"What?" She gasped, "You tried for a baby? Oh my god, that's amazing!" She squealed, "Seriously tried for a baby? Like a real, screaming one?"

"Yes, a real, screaming one" Derek settled, "It wasn't meant for anyone to know yet, but thanks to Sloan here…" He elbowed him in the side.

"So it's a secret? Why is it a secret?" She demanded, "You're trying to conceive and no one knows? Except from me and Mark?"

Derek let his gaze drift across the large hallway before her spoke. "It's just…Meredith doesn't…Or she does, she said so, but she's being all baby-moody after her performed c-section. Maybe she's mixing up her emotions and brings them into our private life...I try to keep it down, in case she might change her mind…If I get too involved and she backs out…"

Lexie sent him a puzzled look.

"What he's saying is that Meredith is still Meredith Grey after all, and she might freak out and never want this family thing after all"

"Mark!" Lexie scolded, turning to Derek. "Of course Meredith want a baby if she says she want one. I mean, how often have you heard her talk about babies?" She studied their facial languages, nodding in agreement. "Exactly. Never. And now she does. When she's into a strong, healthy, loving marriage. You have to trust her, Derek. This is not something that just spills out of her mouth. Believe it or not, I've actually come to know my sister" She broke into a wide smile, unable to hide her excitement. "I can't believe you actually tried for a baby! I'm going to be an aunt again!" She stretched her arms around Derek, welcoming him with a warm hug. Returning her friendly gesture, his arms surrounded her slim figure.

"Just don't tell Meredith yet, okay? This baby talk is a thing between her and I and I don't want her to feel rushed and overwhelmed. I want to move slowly, in her tempo and telling everyone without her permission doesn't feel right"

"I won't" She ensured him, smiling. "We're gonna safely guard our words"

"We are" Mark nodded absently, keeping a close eye on his patient forms. "We're not telling anyone"

"Izzie Stevens in particular" Derek marked playfully, "If there's any person who knows how to go overboard, it's her. And Izzie's joyful personality might cause Meredith to run in the opposite direction"

Mark flipped his ballpoint pen back in his labcoat pocket, "You can trust my fiancée and me"

"Oh, I do trust Lexie. You?" Derek gritted his teeth, "I'm not so sure"

"Hey. I'm supposed to be your best friend" Mark grumbled behind his take away coffee as the other two exchanged amused looks. "And most likely McBaby's godparent" He filled in, making Lexie's eye size double in exaltation. "Godparents!" She squealed happily, placing a wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek, "We're gonna be godparents! Rockstar godparents!"

Grinning widely, he draped an arm around her waist, "McBaby's gonna love us. We get to do the funny things, buy ice cream, take to ballgames and fairgrounds and zoo's and let them stay up all night. We get to be the irresponsible ones"

"Don't get any wild ideas" Derek raised a warning eyebrow, turning to Mark, "I haven't made up my decision about you, yet. It takes a lot of consideration to decide whether or not you're capable to be around my future children. And you?" His gaze reached Lexie's, "If you'll ever have a shot in the competition, I want to see…" Lexie cut him off, "…Melody prepped and ready for surgery at four. I got it. I'm on it" She gladly accepted her chore and seceded from the desk, "I'm firm and strict. I'm giving tumorbitch an ultimatum, accept the surgery or die. There's going to be no signs of mercy in my voice. I'm not leaving her room before I've cleared my mission. You're going to be proud, Doctor Shepherd"

* * *

Izzie hummed for herself while making her way into her well-excessed memorial clinic. Slipping behind the reception counter, she unhanded her tower raging stack of files that needed immediate attention. Finding comfort in her office chair, she immediately looked up as pain stricken groans came from behind one of the curtains. She looked around, seeking out a free nurse but finding out, to her surprise, she was the only medical professional in the room. She grabbed fistfuls of her blonde hair while reaching into her pocket for a hair band while making her way towards the mysterious voice in front of her.

She frowned her brows together the second she pulled the curtain aside. "Meredith?"

She quickly looked up, holding a syringe, struggling to sting herself.

"What are you doing?" Izzie showed out a small stool, whirling to her side.

"I can't do it myself…It's something about expected pain…" She tugged on her lower lip, deeply concentrated.

"Why are you stinging yourself?" Izzie looked at the large medical kit beside her, needles and injection agents filling her eyesight.

"Because" Meredith sighed, "I can't take a test…It's too early…I have to wait at least two weeks before I even think about peeing on a stick. So, instead, I'm taking a blood test. Would you do it for me?"

"Meredith…What…" Izzie stared at her, eye wide open, "Pregnancy test? As in pregnancy test? Seriously, Mer? You're pregnant!"

"Well, I could be" She explained with a shrug. "That's why I need a blood test"

"Oh my god, Mer!" Izzie ended up at the bedside next to her, "How long have you known? Does Derek know? How long? How far?"

"Not long. At all" Meredith pulled up her long sleeved t-shirt, exposing her lower arm as Izzie prepared the injection. "We tried for the first time…last night…"

"Last night?" The syringe slipped from her hand as her voice flat out. "You've been having unprotected sex one time?"

"Four actually" Meredith bit her lip nervously, "Just take the damn blood"

Izzie snorted as she slipped of her gloves, "There's no need for me to take blood if you're not fertilized yet. We won't know for a few more weeks"

"I know that. I'm a doctor. A surgeon. It's just…I feel pregnant…Sort of…"

"That's normal" She assumed, "You and Derek have been trying for the very first time. For a McBaby" Her eyes glinted with a dreamy sparkle, "That means…you might be pregnant in a month" She placed her both hands on Meredith's meager shoulders. "I am so happy for you and Derek!"

"So am I" She smiled sincerely back, "I really want this. And I know I sound crazy about this, I know that, I'm a doctor, I should know better. Derek thinks I'm crazy. It's just…I want this so badly" Her lips showed off the tiniest move of a tremble, "And what if it doesn't work? What if I can't…? Certainly Derek can, that's just obvious. But if there's something wrong with me and if doesn't work, will he…?" Her eyes started to gloss with tears, "Do you think he'll…" She struggled hard to finish the sentence. Izzie cut her off. "No, Mer. Derek would never leave you" She stated firmly. "And if this, against all odds, shouldn't work, you'll find another solution. But it will work. You'll be able to carry healthy babies, I'm sure. But you have to stop worrying. It's your first day as a PP"

"PP?" Meredith questioned, "What's that?"

"Oh, it's my own abbreviation. Something I just came up with" Izzie replied, "Possible Pregnant. It's your first day. Which means, you shouldn't have that kind of thoughts" An encouraging smile welcomed her, "Enjoy this time. There will be enough of swollen ankles, gaining weight, food craving, hormonal outbursts and waking nights time later"

Meredith felt her head drop at Izzie's shoulder and they both sat there, companioning each other in the quiet room. "I can't believe Derek's gonna become a father someday soon" Izzie pronounced in disbelieved pleasure, getting threatening looks from Meredith. "Why is Derek getting all the attention here? I'm the one who's most surely going to push an actual human being out of my vagina. I am the one to worship here"

Izzie laughed softly, stretching out her legs, "I do worship you, Meredith. You're an incredible friend, an incredible person, an incredible surgeon, an incredible wife…And you're going to be an incredible mother. And the same is Derek. As a father"

"What can I say" Meredith hummed, "We're dream team"

"You totally are" She gave her back a small pat, "So, no it's time for you to go and find your better half and enjoy each other. And I know the word 'enjoy' is related to sex for both of you, so go have sex. Do it. Relax and have fun. There's no reason for you to get all stressed out. The baby comes when you don't bother too much about it. Somewhere unexplored. What about…office sex?" She suggested

Meredith turned her down, "Already done it"

"Okay…What about…Exam-room sex?"

She shook her head, "Prom, remember?"

Another proposition was brought out of Izzie's mouth. "Lounge sex? As in the resident's longue?"

Meredith shook her head again, also that place added to their merit list.

"There's not many places left" Izzie pointed out after a minute of intense thinking. "Oh, maybe the OR. And the cafeteria"

"They're both undone" Meredith agreed, "but we can't do it in there…People save lives in there…and they eat in the other one. We would so get fired if we got caught"

Izzie laughed uncontrollably, "Take the chance. It's fresh and exciting. I'm sure you're not the first two…"

"What?" She widened her eyes, "You and Alex did it in there?!"

"Not exactly in the OR…More like the…scrub room…" Her voice was light and innocent.

"Iz! Seriously?"

"So freaking seriously"

* * *

"Come in!" Derek called back after a quick knock on his office door. He let his eyes wander from his computer work, taking in the sight of his wife from behind his desk. "Hi" She smiled smartly at him as she leant back on the table's edge beside him.

"Hi" He responded immediately before straightening up from his chair and pressing his body slightly over hers so it rested on his large stack of papers. Meredith narrowed her eyes and licked her lips teasingly as her legs curled around his legs.

"What are you up to, Doctor Shepherd?" He grinned, playing bossy and professional even though he knew this wouldn't be much professional…

"OR 3 is free" She forced her body up to a sitting position, "And I was wondering if you would like to assist me in there…"

He gulped, stunned and thrilled. "You want to get naughty in the OR? Is that even legal, Doctor Shepherd?"

"Who cares about that…" She mumbled playfully, pressing her body up against his, her long fingers drifting sensually up and down his skin underneath the scrub top.

"Meredith…" He started seriously, "I think we need to talk…"

"Yeah, we do…But not right now…Right now, we're having hot OR sex…Because we need it…No stress, just enjoy…Just you and me…"

Without words, he grabbed her hand, disappearing from his office towards their goal. After a quick peek at the clarifying OR board, they sneaked into the scrub room, closing the door behind them. Meredith pushed herself up against the sink and Derek came for her, removing her resident's clothing till she was only dressed in her lingerie. After another round with stripping, his garment ended up on the floor and his erection was strong behind his boxer's view. They halted from the small prep room into the OR, tightly embraced in each other. Meredith let out a small wimp as her naked back met the cold ground on the patient's table she was being pushed down at and it soon changed into sincere, sensual sounds as he made her completely naked, starting to explore her familiar body.

"So…I made a commitment with Izzie today…" Meredith panted as his tongue licked its way over her soft breasts, "That we would do it in the OR…And the cafeteria…So I guess…We have some milestones to reach…"


	3. Chapter 3 Dream A Little Dream Of Me

**So, I made a chapter three. Not sure if my spontaneous idea was the right thing, but...It might be a bit chaotic...Anyways, give it a shot! It has MerDer scenes, at least! **

**Thank you, everyone for reviewing! It's thrilling me to check my inbox when there's incoming messages from you!**

**Ciao's and love,**

**Sus**

**

* * *

**

"Doctor Shepherd…" The tone of the middle-aged female doctor in front of her was soft and compassionate as she spoke. She rested her white coated arms on the desk, folding her hands tightly, pressing her palms together as she was praying. With a small prod with her head, she motioned for Meredith to sit down. Her steps were slow and hesitant as her lean figure made its way for the chair in front of the doctor's desk in the middle of the dim office. She placed herself on the edge of the soft leather seat, her body tensing, her eyes widening alarmingly when she met the woman's eyes, looking at Meredith like she was some lost, starving puppy.

She cleared her throat for a swill or a piece of dust or something that were preventing her from talking calmly and unaffected as an unbearable lump was cascading ominously through her body.

"What's wrong?" She demanded, her dry voice echoing in the office's four walls.

"Doctor Shepherd…" The dark haired medical professional started again, but Meredith cut her off. "Don't call me Doctor Shepherd! Tell me what's wrong!"

She instantly pushed her gaze to the floor, a gaze telling Meredith there was no good news for her to deliver. Doctor Reynolds shifted awkwardly in her seat, causing Meredith to twirl painfully in hers.

"Meredith…" She had abandoned her attempt to sound the slightest of professional and her silky hand rubbed over Meredith's carefully. It slipped away from her porcelain fingers and Meredith kept on staring emptily at her labcoat, barely taking notice in the perfectly embroidered name. _Denise Reynolds. _One of the best obstetrician/gynecologists in Washington.

Perfect handwork or not, the letters blurred and curled into an unreadable mass of words as two tears, suddenly accompanied with many, dribbled from the corner of her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. "I lost it, didn't I?" Her voice was trembling, close to the edge of cracking, "I lost my baby?"

Silence passed as Denise took her time watching her. "No" She finally replied, her lips moving slightly, holding back too much information.

"I don't understand" Meredith wiped away her tears on astray, "You told me it was urgent and you've been acting like a doctor acts before telling the patient their baby died. My baby died" She stated, questioning as well as proclaiming. She paused and her eyes widened, hopeful when Denise didn't respond during the following seconds. "My baby's alive? Mine and Derek's baby is alive?"

"Meredith…" Her voice kept saying, this time unconcealing the hurt tone that lingered in the silence as tiny wrinkles crept around the woman's dark brown eyes. "There never was a baby…"

"Of course there was a baby!" Meredith protested, provoked. "I took three different tests! I had morning sickness! I should be three months along by now!"

"I'm so sorry…" She shook her head, reaching her biggest fear, "You never were pregnant. You know, as a doctor pregnancy tests are not a hundred percent reliable. It's strange you got a positive result from all of them, but it could be caused by an increased production of estrogen in your body. It might have tricked the test results and because you never draw a blood sample, you didn't get the accurate results. The morning sickness…Could be caused by…anything…"

Too nummed to speak, Meredith cringed in her chair and bored her eyes into the hands that were resting on her lap. Another glossy tear popped free. Why would this happen to her? Why did their lovechild have to die? And where was Derek? Meredith turned around, hopelessly. She needed him. Derek would be here. Derek would take part in every little event of the pregnancy. And here she was, alone with some doctor she'd never heard of, in an office that certainly wasn't located at Seattle Grace. Where the hell was she?

Trying to soothe her hyperventilated state, Denise laid her warm hand upon Meredith's again, and this time she let her. Meredith tried to keep her breaths soft and steady between all the exhales and inhales that involuntarily escaped her throat.

"Where's Derek?" She finally choked out, "Why isn't Derek here?"

"I don't know" Denise weakly replied, "But Meredith…there's another thing I need to tell you…"

"We can make another baby" Meredith's sudden voice covered the obstetricians. "I want a baby with Derek. We can make another baby. Things will be fine"

"No, it won't" She turned her down softly, "Things doesn't always turn out the way you plan..." She inhaled deeply, stealing a glare in Meredith's direction, who was contemplating her, puzzled and confused.

"I checked your lab results…There's a reason you're not pregnant yet"

"What are you talking about?" She raised her voice impatiently, forcing herself up from the cushioned chair. Her steps tripped nervously around the room, feeling the urge to escape and slam the door shut, and going back to pre- Meredith, pretending everything was fine and she would, sooner or later, believe so herself.

"Meredith…" She jumped at the sound of her name coming from Denise, who was standing straightbacked behind her. "Unfortunately the tests showed you don't have any eggs to fertilize…"

Meredith sent her a devastated look, knowing the rest. "No!" She yelled, "You're lying, I'm not…I'm not…

"You're sterile" She filled out the sentence for her, "You can't be pregnant"

"No!" Her breath got stuck in her throat between her deep-throat cries, her body twisting underneath her bedcovers. "It's not true! No! Where am I? Where's Derek?" Her pained shouts suddenly filled the darkened bedroom. "You're lying! Why am I here? Where's Derek?!"

* * *

Her sleepy husband blinked twice and rolled over to her side, abruptly awoken by the tortured screams of his wife. He reached out his hand to turn on the bed lamp on the nightstand while securing a tender arm around Meredith's middle with his other. Instantly, she swirled away and tossed her head from side to side, helplessly muttering "Where's Derek?"

"I'm here" He whispered softly, running his hand up and down her waistline. "I'm here, Meredith…It's okay…"

"I'm alone?" The high-pitched calls had turned down to soft muttering, blended with fresh tears to be frequently set free from her eyes and to roll in fat streams down her cheeks.

Derek curled up next to her, as close as he could, and placed a deep kiss on her tear drained cheek while brushing a strand of sticky hair from her sweaty forehead. "You're dreaming…And you're not alone. I'm always here…" He raised his voice from the whisper to a firm, but soft talking tone in order to wake her up from her apparent heartbreaking nightmares.

"The baby's not dead…" She said, her voice muffled by the pillow her face had crashed on. "Denise is lying…" She carried on, making Derek draw a deep frown on his forehead, unfamiliar to her last statement, "Meredith?" He questioned, "Wake up…"

Derek threw the covers off her body and scooped her in his arms, his hand violently nudging her shoulder. Her head found solace to rest on his chest while another load of tears sprung free, leaving tiny wet spots on his t-shirt.

"Meredith" His next call for her, tone firm and audible, made her body stir the slightest movement as the length of her eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes were wet and bloodshot from the crying, and her gaze drifted around the room, bewildered.

"Hi" Derek said softly, catching her gaze. He let his back rest against the headboard while the rest of his body slackened out on the bed with Meredith safely held in place on top of him.

"Derek…" She responded with a hoarse voice, her fingers clutching his wrist, as to make sure he was really here.

"Yes" The firmness in his voice and the positive answer being a ratification for his wife's uncertainty.

"I'm here" He reassured her, again and again, his hand rubbing her back with soft strokes. "Looks like you had a bad dream"

"It was more than that" She finally let her emotions take share with him through her cracked voice, "You weren't there, Derek. I was all alone and Denise told me I would never get pregnant…"

"What? What are you…?" Derek stumbled in his words, "Who's Denise?"

"An OB/GYN. At least I dreamt she was. She's really kind and she has these big, brown eyes and golden skin. She's beautiful. I guess she's Mexican or Brazilian or something exotic" Meredith sniffed, "And she told me I couldn't get pregnant. I was barren and you weren't there and maybe that's a sign…" The tears prickled dauntfully in her eyes, "Maybe that's a sign that you…that you will…"

"No, Meredith" He refused, "I won't leave you. Never"

"But why do I keep dreaming like this?" She asked, outraged, as she escaped from Derek's warm hold to sit at the edge of their bed. "I've never had these dreams before!"

Derek climbed off his position and replaced behind her small frame. His arms moved firmly up and down her sides, touching the soft material of her baby pink tank top. He dropped his head on her shoulder, taking in the smell of the warm and sweet neck from her natural scented skin, making his nostrils vibrate in pleasure. His lips destined for the nape of her neck, warmly kissing his way up her sensitive skin while his two days-stubbles sensually scraped against it. He counted on Meredith to moan softly and swaying to the side, giving him better access to continue, but she were as stiff and tensed as before, teary, saline drops still hovering in the corner of her eye.

"Meredith…" He encouraged, whispering, "Relax…"

"I can't relax!" Her arms fluttered hysterically as she made her way out of Derek's arms, "I can't relax because I had this dream and you weren't there! And Denise didn't tell me our baby died!"

Derek rubbed a heavy hand over his tired eyes, clearly stumped. "What do you mean 'our baby didn't die'? That's a good thing…"

"Of course it's not a good thing! Our baby didn't die because there never was a baby! And I can't bring a baby to the world and that's not a good thing because I want a baby with you and I know you want a baby with me and I can't give it to you…" Her head fell to the floor, the loose golden locks draping like a curtain in front of her face, preventing him to get a smallest glint of her expressions. Luckily, she though as she brought a quick hand to her cheek for what seemed like the thousand time that night. But no matter how quick she was, how perfectly well she could hide her emotions, disguising everything, he was Derek and he was the love of her life. And there was no way she could mask her heart for him again.

"You had a nightmare" He said after a small break of silence. His fingers combed through her messy hair, expertly tying out her small tangles, caused by the uneasy sleepy state.

Meredith let out a relieved sigh, her shoulders slacking comfortably with the deep exhale and she found herself searching closer to Derek's body. "I had a nightmare…I guess…But it felt so real…What if my subconsciousness is telling me something, or whatever?" She turned around to him, her face shattered into horrified visages. "Derek? What if I can't have babies? What if I can't have your babies?"

Derek gathered the strands of her hair into his fist, ponytailing it in his hand, "You can have our babies, Mer. You can bring our babies to the world. And if, it should turn out that you can't, we'll look for alternative solutions" He kissed her cheek lovingly, "But this was just a dream. It doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. "It's an excuse to have hot sex every day. At the most inappropriate time, in the most inappropriate places "His teasing smile made her let out a small giggle, "We'll try for how long it will take. Till we get our baby"

* * *

Meredith hovered nervously outside the rank of office doors at the gynecological department, waiting for the doctor to show up. She immediately lifted her gaze towards the end of hall when the door slid open, Addison Montgomery being the one to walk through it. Meredith bit her thumb nervously, consider whether to leave or stay when the readhead suddenly called for her.

"Hi!" She smiled widely, tramping towards her with flawless legs, balancing perfectly on her high heels.

"Hi" Meredith tried to return her welcoming gesture and a small, wry smile appeared on her lips. Addison slowed down her speed as she caught up with her, walking beside her down the hall. She placed her glasses expertly on her nose as a stack of files were brought up from her briefcase. She let her gaze secede from the papers for a minute as she monitored Meredith curiously. "Can I help you with something?"

"I…uhm…Actually…No, I don't… think so…" She stammered nervously, ashamed to be seen tripping helplessly outside Addison's workplace.

"Nothing?" Addison kept on pushing, "No reason for you to be in my department?"

"Uhm…I…uhm…waiting for Doctor Bender " She explained as professionally as she could, offering her a light smile.

"Oh" Addison quickly looked up, "He's in surgery, I think. Anything important?"

"Kind of…For me…But not emergency important…It can wait till he gets back…"

"I don't know when he's gonna be back" She replied, "It might take a while. Anything I can do? We're both certified OB/GYN's, you know" She smirked, "what he can do, I can most surely too"

"Right" Meredith breathed, "But I don't think you want to go there with me. After all, I was the dirty mistress who was the one to terminate your marriage, right?"

"Meredith…" Addison shook her head, lightly desponded, "That's years ago. And no, you didn't ruin it. Can we please stop with the self-blaming now? I'm happy, you're happy, we're all happy. What can I do for you? Do you need a vaginal exam?" Addison prompted, bringing the topic up, uncensored.

Meredith let out a sigh and bit her lip, letting her eyes float across the room before she finally spoke, "An extensive one…"

"Let me know if you feel any pain" Addison pulled on a pair of gloves before bringing the speculum to her hands. "I'm gonna warm this to make it more comfortable for you"

Meredith let out a heavy sigh from her place at the exam table, feet in the stirrups, dressed in an ugly cheerful, pink hospital gown. "This is pathetic" She proclaimed, clearly dismayed with the situation. "I'm lying here, on a gyno-table while my husband's ex-wife is preparing to dig into my vagina"

Addison sent her a fretful look. "What's pathetic is that you, during your thirty year old life, never had a gynecological exam before now. A simple, regular check-up could forbore possible diseases and sterility. Life-treatening cancer, even"

"Oh, that sentence just lightened up my day" Meredith remarked sarcastically as Addison raised a playful eyebrow. "Ever heard of Denise Reynolds?" She interrogated, changing conversation topic. Addison only shook her head, "I don't think so. Why?"

"I had a dream and she was there. As a gynecologist. She's Mexican or whatever"

Addison frowned, taking on the intent look she always got when she was scanning her scholastic brain for any possible outcomes in her memory, "I've never heard of her. Can I ask why you're dreaming about a gynecologist?"

Meredith let her eyes drift to the ceiling, half-heartedly admiring the optic white concrete. "I had a dream" She finally replied, "Or a nightmare, whatever. She told me I couldn't have any babies. And it's pathetic because I'm a surgeon, I merely believe in science. Theories need research to have my trust, but still, it's weird…People see ghost and worse, people talk to ghosts and people heal people with only laying a hand on them. At least that's what they say. So why shouldn't the brain foresee things in your sleep? I'm not saying I believe it, but compared to everything else I doesn't seem so wrong…"

Addison cleared her throat awkwardly as she let her eyes fare to the monitor screen at Meredith's bedside. "You know…I believe in ghosts…"

Meredith's eyes grew ball sized and she sat up, shocked. "What?"

"Yeah…" She trailed on, "I grew up in this 18th century villa. The house creaked a lot, of course, but before I fell asleep I always saw a shadow passing my bed. There was no doubt the shadow belonged to a human being and my family were all asleep so…" She paused, "I never told anyone and it became naturally for me at some time. It wasn't that scary. So I do believe some people live through death. There's a lot of nonsense out there, definitely, but I've come to open my eyes a bit" She smiled, then nodded towards the ultrasound machine, "But your dream couldn't be more wrong. You're as fertile as can be"

Meredith blinked twice, angling her head towards the screen. "I…I…" She stammered, "I…can have babies?"

"You can have babies" Addison assured her with a soft laugh, "And I also calculated when your next ovulation would be and it's about now, "You have the best chances" She smiled smartly.

"That's good!" She breath a sign of relief, "That's so good! But how did you…how did you know we were planning…?"

"Seriously, Meredith? You wanted a fertilization test? It's not something people would do just for fun and certainly not you"

"You're right" Meredith dried away a single tear that had already reached her cheek, this time being a happy one. "I can be pregnant"

"You can" She nodded firmly, "And I know exactly what you're thinking, you're gonna find your husband and celebrate the good news with some dirty sex" Meredith's cheeks blushed pink, "Does he know you're here anyway?"

"No…I didn't tell him…I was afraid the result wouldn't come off to positive so…" Her face lit up, "But it did! I should go tell Derek"

"You should" Addison agreed while Meredith unhooked the gown and replaced it with her scrub top. Hesitant on her steps, Addison waved her out, smiling. "Go. Go!"

* * *

Derek braked and parked the car safely in the driveway in front of their classic, white, Victorian house that was raging on top of a small exalt with the phenomenal view of Seattle and its surrounding mountains and bays underneath, and he tiredly made his way up the stairs that led to the large main door. Exhaustion was hitting him like a knife stab after every performed surgery that day. Sixteen hours, one espresso and two breaks, counting no more than five minutes each had left him all torpid and worn-out back to his wife. He twisted the key in the locker and let his briefcase slip to the floor, not taking the effort to take of his coat.

"Meredith?" He called out, knowing she would have made it home hours earlier than him. Sometimes, only sometimes, being a resident clearly had it perks. He rested his hand against the wall, steadying his feeble body as he untied and slipped of his shoes.

"I'm in here" Her voice echoed from the living room and he made his way to her, widening his eyes from the spectacular view. The room was dark, only lightened by the large fireplace, burning and letting out the cosy, homy crakling sound. Even cosier, Meredith was sprawled in front of it, her body lingering on a pair of blankets she'd brought down from their bedroom. As a miracle, his self-destructive tiredness disappeared when he saw her dressed in nothing, but a matching set of black satin lingerie.

She was smiling back at him, her white teeth sparkling from the light of the fireplace.

Derek's mouth grew wide and he stood there, gaping as a deep throated "wow" came from his lips, feeling like a teenager again when he and Mark was spying at the girls in the shower after gym class. Adulthood was so much better…

He swallowed as he felt a sudden move in his pants, his erection hardening and peeking straight at Meredith who couldn't help letting out a laugh, while shaking her head at her horny husband. Derek could be as exhausted and tired he wanted, but his little friend never slept…

"I was planning to take you away today at work but your schedule was insane" Meredith got up from her slack position at the floor, moving towards him, hips swaying, breasts bouncing lightly.

"Yeah…" He breathed, then swallowed. "I had back to back surgeries…"

"I know…" She mumbled sweetly in reply while removing his thick woolen coat from his shoulders, gliding it off him. It landed on the floor and Derek instantly pulled her close. His lips tasted hers as he caressed her sides, his warm hands working goosebumps on her skin.

"We…have….something…to celebrate…" She involuntarily broke off the kiss and nodded towards the kitchen counter, a bottle of champagne placed there, waiting for them.

"Champagne" Derek recognized, still not letting her go, "What are we celebrating?"

Meredith smiled foxily as she stepped backwards, pushing his hands firmly away. She grabbed the bottle in one hand , expertly flopping the cork open. Well-aware that Derek had his gaze stuck on her ass, Meredith pushed her firm rump out a little more while fumbling through the cupboard for glasses.

"Lie down" She instructed as she swoshed past him, settling on the fuzzy carpet. He eagerly joined her and tugged at the decorous closed buttons on his shirt, trotting Meredith with an uncensored version of his masculine chest. Enjoying the sight in front of her, she sipped at her drink.

"It's alcohol-free" She said after a while of sensual tensed silence.

"Really?" Derek questioned, grabbing his glass. "It indeed is" He said after his very first taste, "Why is it alcohol free?"

She sighed solemnly and replaced herself in front of him. Derek let his fingers softly trail down her thigh with his free hand, looking at her wide-eyed and expectant.

"You were right…" She stated, placing her glass on the floor with shivering hands, "It was just a dream. The doctor and the office and the never existing baby…It was a dream. I can have our baby"

"You can have our baby" He agreed softly.

"No, I mean I know I can have our baby. I know it"

Derek stirred a small smile as his left eyebrow jolted up in confusion. "You…you know?"

"I went to see Addison earlier today. Or…" She revised herself, "I was supposed to find another doctor, but she was there and…and…"

"Meredith…" He encouraged her, "You know you can say everything to me…"

"Addison did a fertile exam on me…" She finished, her wide smile decorating her face, "And everything was fine. Everything works. I can be pregnant"

"You can be pregnant" He echoed, smiling widely, "But why didn't you tell me? I've could have come with you…"

"You were working and I wanted to surprise you" Meredith raised her champagne glass, "That's why I bought an alcohol-free one"

"Yeah…" He nodded, disbelieved and fortunately. "Because you might be pregnant soon"

"Because I might be pregnant soon" She clinked her glass against his, toasting on it.

There was a short silence before Derek parted his lips, his trademark grin coming into sight, enough to tell the surroundings his mind went directly to the gutter. "Does this mean we're celebrating in a certain way?"

Meredith immediately remembered Addison's words earlier in the exam-room,

_And I know exactly what you're thinking, you're gonna find your husband and celebrate the good news with some dirty sex_

She giggled wildly as Derek lowered them both to the floor, pressing his lips to her neck, gently biting while his hand squeezed her breast lightly. She sneaked her hands to his chest, working to remove the last buttons that were still yet to be removed. She needed him naked. And she needed him naked now.

"Celebration sex, it is."

* * *

**Okay, so Addison isn't really the person to believe in ghosts, I know. She believes in science and scalpels and vaginas and the majesty of lifesaving. And maybe love. I just got caught up with the writing and suddenly...she was...**

**Next chapter: MerDer will have an awful fight. It starts as a harmless discussion on whether a patient's decision is morally right or not, and it turns out to be mudslinging and heartbreaking…**


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